Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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