My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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