yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
