Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We have started to decorate penises.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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