Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
