You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
