U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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