eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
