i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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