I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
