Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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