How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
