Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
