what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
