Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
