I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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