The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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