I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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