I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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