I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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