cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
