I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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