I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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