I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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