I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
