I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
