that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
