If i come over, it means nothing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
