Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
