dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
