her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
