Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How does one acquire holy water?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
