I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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