It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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