The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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