How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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