When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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