Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
