Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
