In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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