I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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