We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
