I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize