Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
