I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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