I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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