my mouth tastes like poor choices
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
