I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
