Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
