How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I love having hate sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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