I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
